Food and Music.

Gawker wrote a fantastic article in response to the NY Times saying chefs are the new rock stars.  First off, fuck you if you even use the phrase rock star.  Duff McKagan has a great passage in his book about that term, and once confronted a friend who said he “partied like a rock star”  Duff asks what he did (he drank a six pack)  and responds “yeah?  did you shove entire unground rocks of cocaine up your nose?  did you have unprotected sex with hundreds of women?  did you drink until your liver literally exploded?  Did you ruin your life but live to tell the tale?”  That’s not how he responds at all, but his point is, he doesn’t use the phrase rock star, its fucking stupid.

Food as music….well, I’m not going to repeat the points they made in the article, but I agree whole heartedly with them.   The joy I take in eating though, is very different from the joy I take in music.  There is one negative effect you experience in both worlds, which warrants discussion.

I know some people, who don’t really enjoy eating exotic foods.  They love delicious food (I mean, who doesn’t? Not a single person enjoys bad tasting food)  But they don’t eat anything particularly out of the ordinary.  They won’t eat garlic.  They ask for their chicken well done.  They get the dressing on the side.  They ask for the meat sauce without meat (this is a real one I experienced) but still, they go to all the restaurants.

They just want to be there.  To be part of the party.  They travel the world.  They go to Russia and don’t drink vodka.  They go to Spain and don’t eat pork products.  They go to Wine Country and only drink white wine.  You can’t escape them.

But every one of us has been to the show, where the group of people spend the quiet intro to a song discussing the bar they will go to after.  Or the girl who texts the ENTIRE time, or the dude updating Facebook, illuminating several square feet around him through the dramatic dim lighting.

These people will get in your way at any type of event.  Food, music, sports, art, botanical gardens.  The common thread shared by the chef of the week and band of the week, is that more irritating people now flock to their events.  Food is not the new music, it’s merely something we do for enjoyment.

But just for fun, lets break down a few public figure chefs into the musician they would be, shall we?

Mario Batali

mario-batali

Meatloaf

meatloaf

He’s a jovial character who clearly has chops, but is a little comical based on his media presence.

Bobby Flay

mur.mur - Borgata - Atlantic City

John Mayer

john_mayer2_300x400

Known as kind of an asshole, again clearly has chops, but still no one likes him.

Anthony Bourdain

anthony-bourdain-no-reservations-kerala

Late Period Keith Richards

knife2

Do I really have to point this out?  Well, he’s not so much famous for his cooking abilities, so lets say they he’s post Some Girls Keith.  More famous for his use of substance, than musical substance.

Guy Fieri

64635020

Dude From Smashmouth

Smashmouth

No explanation necessary for this one.

One final thought, the Googa Mooga festival, put on by the Bonnaroo crew Superfly, is a wonderful idea in theory, but could be a dangerous clusterfuck in action.  Have you been to a music festival?  It can be a beautiful experience, or it can be hell on earth from a crowd perspective.  Without a doubt, the worst part is the lines, the waiting, the giant crowds.

For music, this can be a minimal issue.  You can be a thousand feet back, and still hear the band, see the screens, enjoy the atmosphere.  But when you’re waiting for food, which you clearly will be doing if the food is not prepackaged, it can get dangerous pretty quickly.  Just some thoughts, proceed with caution!