I Blog What I Hear

Rainn Wilson just Tweeted (I hate that phrase but I’m going with it)  “Ben Gibbard Just Ran Over Owl City In His Death Cab”.  This brought up some discussion, As I had never heard Owl City before.  I was told they were attempting to sound like The Postal Service, since there are no more Postal Service albums, which I mean, whatever man, but do your own thing somehow.  A friend recently saw them open a show, and proclaimed them to be the worst live band he had ever seen.  Well, after Dwight dropped some science, I had to get involved.  So here, dear reader, is my live blog interpretation of the first few songs of Owl City that come up on google. Keep in mind, I have not heard one note of this band previously, this is all in the moment.  Hang on, here we go, I’m hitting search.

Fireflies -   Oh my god kid, are you fucking serious?  I heard this guy was a low rent Postal Service ripoff, but this is ridiculous.  Lets just get right to it.  Turn off the fucking auto tune man, come on!  Gibbard never used that stuff, that’s his thing.  If you’re going to rip someone off, at least use your own voice.  And whats with that cheap ass arpeggiator happening?  did you just put the step sequencer on auto and go cry in the shower?  And the reverse cymbal swell?  Really?  That’s all you could come up with?  These drum beats are weak as hell man, this is what Jimmy Tamborello spits out after he brushes his teeth in the morning.

Vanilla Twilight – Don’t even get me started on this name.  What am I, ordering a vampire themed frappuccino at starbucks?   You’re just doing the Ben Gibbard phrasing here man, just waaay worse. How do you sleep at night?  You better have a reverse peep hole on your door, because someone should be waiting there with a sack full of pennies in anticipation.  Again with the reverse cymbal swell before the chorus?  Arent there any other cheesy garageband sound effects you could throw in?  What about if you took a cat meowing or something?  Those LOL cats are pretty popular, why not rip them off too?  Douche.

Hello Seattle – REALLY man?  REALLY?  You do an alternate pan arpeggio synth intro to a fucking song with Seattle in the title?  I’ll tell you what, I’m going to write a song called Paradise Community Los Angeles, where the scenery is verdant and the girls are mildly attractive, and name my band Firearms and Dasies.  Again with the auto tune, just turn it down at least if you’re not going to turn it off.

Saltwater Room -  Again with the reverse cymbal?  For Rizzle Dizzle?  You really find a formula and stick to it man.  I guess you’re kind of like AC/DC, if instead of amazing powerful grooving rock riffs, you chose some bitch ass electronic presets on whatever soft synth youre using and rely on autotune to pitch correct your irritating voice. This is just so watered down, I’m going to bring it to the desert island with me, just in case I get dehydrated.

Wow, that was tiring.  I think my heart rate is at near cardiac arrest levels.  This does bring up the issue of whether it’s ok to cop so much of another band’s style if they are no longer producing music.  My answer?  No.  Obviously no.  Unless you can do it better.  Which Owl City cannot.  I’d rather listen to Justin Beiber.  Maybe he will be the next live blog.  Watch out Bieber, I’m comin for your bowl cut.

Holy crap.  I just read this on BoingBoing.   Do everyone on earth a favor and listen to this youtube clip, then lets continue our discussion.

First off these are 2 artists with some of the most distinct voices in the world.  No one else will ever be mistaken for Simone, same goes for Dylan.  But the thing that constantly amazes me is how his songs really take on new life in the hands of other artists.  A few years back there was the film “I’m Not There”  where various actors portrayed Dylan at different periods in his life.  Now, not gonna lie, I didn’t have much interest in seeing Heath Ledger play Bob Dylan.  I did however, buy the soundtrack.  A double disc affair containing all covers of Dylan classics and lesser known tunes.

There are high points and low points just as with any giant film soundtrack.  Some of my favorites include a great Cat Power cover of “Stuck Inside A Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again”  Backed by a crazy group of studio musicians including Lee Renaldo, Smokey Hormel, and John Medeski.  Jim James of My Morning Jacket and Calexico do a reverb soaked “Goin To Aculpoco”  reminiscent of The Band days.  Richie Havens doing “Tombstone Blues” and also from highway 61, Ramblin Jack Eliot does “Just Like Tom Thumbs Blues”

From the ages of about 12-16, this was possibly my favorite album in existence.  The beginning of the electric years, Mike Bloomfield, Al Kooper and Harvey Brooks in the band, Dylan at the top of his game.  Tom Thumb may consistently be my favorite track on there. Other than Ramblin Jack and Nina Simone, the only other cover of this song I had heard was on some Grateful Dead bootleg, and that just didn’t do it for me, so lets forget it ever happened.  Something in these 2 voices though (Jack and Nina)  really seems to make the song speak out.  The dylan version maybe has some bitterness to it, basically its like “screw you guys, I’ve had it with this BS”  Where as Simone’s seems more sentimental, and Ramblin Jacks is kind of “I’m tired of this shit, I’m out”  yet he’s not pissed about leaving.

This version though, literally heard for the first time about 5 minutes ago, I just can’t get over.  That piano against the conga rhythm sounds like the basics of hip hop right there. Kanye West is totally ripping this shit off in “Heard Em Say”.  The little lead guitar coming in has a little Sam and Dave, but pays the most direct homage to the original track.  The vocal though, how does something like that even happen.  Her rhythm is all her own, but perfectly fits into the track.  Who the hell else is gonna sing like that.  Lets not turn this into “nothing like this would ever happen today”  discussion..but ya know…nothing like this would ever happen today.  The production is so perfect I just want to go out and throw every computer in a giant bonfire and find a tape deck somewhere to record on.

This is one of the two greatest Dylan covers ever done, among the hundreds or thousands out there.  This one, and Allen Toussaints version of “Momma You Been On My Mind”  which I don’t think was ever recorded, but which I have heard live not once but twice, and will be in my head forever.  What is with soul singers and Dylan?  It just blows my mind every time.

Today dear reader, lets take a journey together. A journey into uncharted territory. I will now attempt to liveblog a Lady Gaga Album.

Who is Lady Gaga? Chances are you know better than I do. I have no idea. Her name is thrown around by pop culture fanatics and esoteric hipsters alike. She apparently is the new Madonna? I don’t know, you don’t come here to hear about Lady Gaga. In all this hubbub, I feel the need to be in on the action. Steps have been taken to clear my mind of all preconceived notions, I’ve done some stretching exercises, my subscription to Lala.com has been created (this site seems absolutely kick amazing, thanks to Eric Tarn for the recommendation). I will listen to 30 seconds of each song from whichever album I find first, then do about a minute of stream of conscious writing. Ok, the album will be Fame Monster. Ready? GO.

BAD ROMANCE: This seems like the opening of a meatloaf album. I feel like some giant guy is going to descend from the ceiling in a cage carrying a red rose and pluck a woman from the top of the empire state building. After that fog will fill up the stage and various scantily clad dancers will come out until suddenly the action stops and that song “Ya’ll Ready For This!” comes on and Lady Gaga appears in an 18th century ball gown, which is being carried at the ends by various doves, all dyed different colors and glowing in the dark. NEXT SONG.

ALEJANDRO: Ok this one i had to extend to 35 sec since the first 30 is all intro. She puts on a french accent, some violins are playing. We’re on a dark street corner (not an actual corner, but some type of film set) and the fog machines are once again blasting. Meatloaf, who is still in the cage from the first song is the subject of her desire, after a wardrobe change, she makes various hand gestures, maybe in Kabuki style makeup perhaps? When she tells our beloved Loaf that she just can’t be with him anymore, the cage explodes in a fantastic pyrotechnic explosion of glitter, and Loaf is now her dance partner, in some type of tuxedo with a rose in his teeth. Lady Gaga is in some type of S&M getup (ok, shes basically Madonna, even after 1:05 of music I have come to this conclusion) and various backup dancers each dressed as a different historical figure shadow their every move. There is Napoleon, Einstein, Patrick Ewing, and Andy Warhol…NEXT!

MONSTER: How is it that every song so far fits into my idea that Meatloaf is a constant character on this album? Meat is now back in a different cage…a jail cell! He has been re-incarcerated after his glittery escape from captivity, at least he got to enjoy a night on the town with his lady, Gaga. He sobs, as she looks on longingly, yet with an heir of confidence, that her life will now be free and easy without a giant Meatloaf/gorilla shadowing her every move, preventing her from getting in taxicabs, things like that. As the auto tune of “He Ate My Heart” comes in, the prison guards turn out to be her backup dancers, the dramatic lighting kicks in, you know where it goes from here.

SPEECHLESS: Oh my god, its a meatloaf album. Seriously, this song is like Rocky Horror Picture Show. Loaf remains in the cell as Gaga has run off, and left him a single red rose. A spotlight appears and a piano is rolled out next to him. As the power ballad drums come in, he dramatically switches back to tuxedo, the single rose in a vase atop the piano. I’m only listening to 30 seconds of each song, but I’m willing to wager that this one ends with a dramatic piano/vocal outro, which in our imaginary live Broadway production, Loaf would remove the rose, give it a dramatic sniff, and a single tear would run down his cheek. (again, the fact that Lady Gaga is singing is irrelevant, this song clearly belongs to Jim Steinman and Meatloaf)

DANCE IN THE DARK: Gaga now begins her dark descent into the seedy underworld as her one true love has been taken away. The intro carries her through various back alleys, with our trusty fog machines working full force (they really are helpful with this album) She becomes more and more disheveled as these first 30 seconds of the song continue. By the end she looks like one of those heroin chic models from the mid 90’s, with that crazy black eyeliner. Shes in a bad part of town with a sketchy clientele as the music kicks in, and the various vagrants once again become her backup dancers. When this goes to broadway, we’ll save a lot of money by just using the same 5 backup dancers, but dressing them as prison guards, historical figures, homeless junkies, you get the idea.

TELEPHONE: She is in the midst of embracing her 2nd act life struggles. Shes in the club, as the lyrics state, blocking out memories of one Meat Q. Loaf, remaining alone in captivity, for reasons we do not yet know or understand. The lyric “I Got No Service In The Club, Sorry I Cant Hear You I’m Kinda Busy” is clearly a metaphor for her running away from her problems and embracing a life of crime and substance abuse. She has various visions of scary things, maybe theres even a guy in some type of demon suit (a la that scene in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in the hotel lobby) Yet in the midst of all this, there is a sure to be classic dance sequence on the club floor. This will rival both Travolta in Saturday Night Fever and Jackson in Thriller. I’m willing to bet the next song will be some type of ballad….lets see.

SO HAPPY I COULD DIE: Ok, i should really look at titles before I predict the next song. But this is truly live, no preparation or extra time has been taken. Lets call this one Conflict Resolution. Shes getting her life back together. This could be where the Training Montage comes in, various scenes of her becoming independent and powerful, taking life by the horns. Buying expensive clothes, having high powered meetings, volunteering with young children, shes on the path for success. She passes by some of her old associates on the street who are not doing well, she doesn’t even stop to look. She has business to attend to. And that business sang Paradise By The Dashboard Light. NEXT!

TEETH: Man, Whats with this last track? It just doesn’t make sense with the rest of the album. There is no conflict resolution, no final romance, no triumphant ending (well at least in the first 30 seconds) I Hate to leave this unfinished, so maybe we can come up with some type of ending? Maybe its a really artsy film where the end doesn’t have to make sense? Or like Kubrick where he says “you won’t understand this for 20 years” I don’t know. Gaga, I mean, its a catchy track, but you’re really not working with me on this one. Mabye Jim Steinman who seems to have wrote most of the previous material we have discussed took a lunch break, and while he was having a sandwich she finished up the album. That’s what I’m sticking to.

Whew! Well that was grueling. I guess after a look back (I made no edits, that was truly live) this was less of a live blog and more of a “Live Dramatic Interpretation.” As a closing thought, I would agree with the Madonna comparisons that are so present in her media criticism. But I really think they’re missing the boat with her Meatloaf influence. The obviously put on drama, the introductions, its all there.

Wow, where did my blogging go?    Ok, we don’t have time for that now, much to discuss.  Well, not that much, but some.

There will be some upcoming shows, which will then be reviewed, all of which I am very excited about.  The first will be Tuneyards, Feb 5th at the Bell House.  If you read my original tuneyards review opening for the Dirty Projectors, you understand that this is a significant event.  I believe it is their first large headlining New York show, and I expect nothing less than pure genius, 100% mind blowing ukulele jams.

The next will be Wilco at the Wellmont Theater in Montclair.  If you know me personally, you know of my great love for all things Jeff Tweedy, so this will be an important day.  But like any true obsessed fan, I’m just as ready to denounce anything new in favor of the old which will never be recreated.  In other words, I’m just a loose cannon, accept me for me, thank you.

Then, Nada Surf at Music Hall of Williamsburg.  This is a band I am not that familiar with, but I have been encouraged to check out by a trustworthy source, so its on.

Also, if you’d like to take a listen to the Bad Plus New Years Eve broadcast, as written about in a recent post, it has now been posted here.  Although I did not take this photo, John Rogers did, this was our view the entire evening.  Also notice the ghetto sound foam we gaff taped to a mic stand next to the drums.

Much has been happening in the music world recently.  Our band continues to record various demos, and the results are overwhelmingly positive.  We’ve gone head first into the Logic world.  My goal for this project is to never be tainted by the evil of Pro Tools for as long as the songs exist on a hard drive.  We’ve overdubbed shakers while fighting the heinous bleed of a drummer practicing out of time lame ass fills in the rehearsal room next to us, we’ve eaten many a box of Entemans mini cookies, the bridge pickup is dying on both my SG and Telecaster, we’ve triumphed in the face of adversity.  And I still don’t know how to punch in using Logic, so nearly everything has been one complete take.

In Addition to band recording, I took part in a film scoring session last night for a documentary on that guy in the question mark suit who tells you how to avoid paying taxes or something, I’m not even going to google his name, because I was told he is one of the least trustworthy people in America.  Anyway.  We were emulating the classic 70’s guitar sound, and it was the perfect opportunity to break out the seldom used, often secretly desired, Wah Pedal.  Now dear reader, I’m about to blow your mind with the eternal secret of guitar tone.  Are you ready?  Sit down, have your feet on the ground, and relax.  Take a small amp, we used a 50’s Danelectro, turn it to 10, plug in a phaser, and turn on the wah.  Thats it. You’re done.  You might as well burn everything else you own.  I have no doubts this tone will never be recreated again,the battery on the phaser was nearly dead, and as we all know from esoteric message board posts, that is essential for the sound and is as elusive as the white rhino and giant squid combined.  You know what?  Don’t even try it.  I take it back.  Lets leave it mysterious.

This weekend I was at a friends birthday party, enjoying some food and beverage in lovely Jersey City.  Things were progressing normally, TV sporting event on part of the time, Computer playing iTunes at others.  At the end of the evening, when the location was about to change, someone turned on some Velvet Underground.  I’m not going to go into some hipster rant about Lou Reed or the positives and negatives of Nico, this isn’t even about a particular band….wait, one quick side note.  I once had a Velvet Underground CD which perished in a spectacular car fire.  But there is no time for that now, I have a point here.  I turned to someone and said “is this coming from an AM radio? That’s fucking awesome!”  In fact, it was coming from one of those little ipod dock type of things, with one small speaker.  Pure mp3 sound, made fantastic by the context.  Had this been playing through much larger and more expensive speakers, the effect would have been not nearly as intense.

I read an interview with Paul McCartney once, who was asked what he thought about Mp3’s and quality issues.  He responded with something like “well, you know mate, before I was a billionaire, in our early days we used to take the little battery powered radio to the beach and turn on the old AM to hear the latest hits, before I was the one writing them because I’m awesome, and we had a jolly old time, with just that one tiny speaker, before i was bathing in gold coins like Scrooge McDuck!  So what really matters is the song!”    Quote me on it, those are his exact words, with possibly a few more ego maniacal rants thrown in.  But Sir Mrs John Lennon has a point there.  Maybe there are even those among us who recall listening to a cassette walkman, cranking out the hits in lofi questionable speed control tapes, getting all we could from the song.  Bob Dylan made that amazing and relevant statement not too long ago that everything recorded recently sounds like garbage.  It kinda does, with a few notable exceptions which we do not have time to discuss in this post, but lets say T Bone Burnett is producing most of them.  So what if we make a drastic move to bring things back into perspective.  Ready?  Lets get rid of the 2nd speaker.

Ringo, probably trying to steal emerick's grammy.

In Geoff Emerick’s fantastic book “Here There and Everywhere” he discusses his philosophy on mono in the days of early stereo.  Emerick was The Beatles engineer for the majority of their career.  He created most of the sounds everyone has tried to emulate since.  George Martin was a bitch, this kid was the brains of the operation.  But an interesting point he made, is that stereo was pretty much a joke when it came out.  They would do silly panning effects just because they could, nothing to further the strength of the song, they would just mess around.  If you feel like dropping several hundred dollars on these new Beatles reissue box sets, just listen to the mono recordings and there is no comparison.  In fact, I encourage you to choose your friends based on which box set they would go for, mono or stereo.  If we can consistently learn anything from The Beatles, its that limitations of technology can enhance creativity.  Those kids had 4 tracks, and mono.  Look what they came up with.  If they had a pro tools rig and surround sound, Idon’t think the albums would have been as good, and I don’t think many people would disagree.

For the greatest of all Wintertine Jewish Octetular Present Presentations…Hannukkah, I got an Tivoli Model One Radio.  Its a small, well designed box, featuring one 3.5 inch speaker.  With all this hi-fi hubub going on recently, I felt the need to give 1 speaker a chance.  There is an intimacy in mono that you just don’t get from some giant hifi system.  I think the first night i plugged it in, Little Feat’s “Willin” came on a WFUV show very late, and it heightened the experience.  It also has one huge tuning knob, no digital anything, and a 1/8″ input, should you choose to put a turntable or ipod through it, which I do intend to do.  Obviously I feel conflicted about playing some mp3’s through a well designed analog box, but we are children of technology, so lets just selectively embrace it, ok?

For about 2 years I would only record drum overheads using one mic.  I heard somewhere that all of the Rolling Stones “Some Girls” album was recorded with only one overhead, a kick and snare mic, reinforced with a PA system. That’s how it should be done.  KISS Method, not Gene Simmons.  Why has this trend not come back into fashion?  Why does no one release mono LPs or something anymore?  Can’t we start a hipster trend in the depths of bushwick, and take away every home studio’s left speaker?  Lets start a crusade.