Oasis is Guns N Roses and Other Thoughts On The Olympics Closing Ceremony

That Olympics closing ceremony has me thinking.  First off, when you see any form of Ska band on (inter)national television, something has to be wrong.  Then the Madness sax player wearing a kilt starts flying through the air like a mix of David Lee Roth, Peter Pan, and Rowdy Roddy Piper, and I’m left there like a frightened child.




I don’t so much understand sports.  They just don’t connect with me.  This is the first time I’ve actually watched more than 20 minutes of the Olympics, and as Good Morning America probably prefers, I’m more interested in the emotional drama associated with the event than the sport itself.  Yes, its fantastic that a 15 year old can do 15 flips on a balance beam, but I just want to see the reaction of the relatives who have mortgaged their house to get her there.  But these ceremonies are a different concept altogether.  I feel like we’re in ancient or futuristic times. Celebrating the gladiators, or some hunger games type shit.  I don’t partake in psychedelic drugs, but I imagine that opening ceremony is about as close as you can get to a trip gone horribly wrong.

The closing ceremony taught me so many things.  The Brits view music much differently than Americans.  Now let me just say, I missed  The Who  and Brian while partaking in the widely accepted Sunday night phenomenon known as “Catching Up On Your DVR” but caught several performances, which we must now discuss.

The Spice Girls.

I have never felt so many conflicting emotions while watching a performance.  It can best be described as “Bewilderment.”  Is this a joke?  Wait, people are so into this!  These lyrics are terrible!  Wait, there is actually kind of a positive message behind them, not just materialism and objectification!  This is hilarious, they look ridiculous!  But they’re kind of pulling it off!  I wonder how they feel, a few years past the height of fame.  That mean looking one seems to still be well known, what do the others do?  Maybe she’s the Timberlake of the group, and everyone else is Joey Fatone.  That’s the same band, right?

George Michael

Is fucking awesome.  I was not around for the original WHAM era, but he just looks so comfortable occupying his unique roll in the music world.



Or Beady Eye, or whatever they want to call it.  They didn’t invite Wings to play, ok?  Can we also make the observation that the British rock and roll haircut likely owes a lot to the Hasidic concept of Pais?

Was that not a look of sheer terror on that Gallagher’s face the entire time?  Was it withdrawal, stage fright, anger, all of the above?  I would love to know what was going through his head.  He certainly did not look like he was having a good time.  Is he disgracing the legacy of Oasis by branching off into this alternate universe where to most non Brits, basically Oasis is on stage, except for one dude who wrote the songs?  I have no idea, I just know the hits.  But he probably is.  The best I can do is compare it to our American version…Guns N Roses.


Had Axl and his new outfit “Guns B” appeared in the bizarro New York 2012 closing ceremony…many of us would have had a good chuckle.  Yes, we all love Paradise City.  But the singer in both cases was not the heart and soul of the group.  They may be the face, or the mouth as it were, but they didn’t create the most beloved parts.  Their temperamental behavior goes well beyond what is accepted for their level of talent.  Chris Rock recently commented on NPR’s Fresh Air, that he can attribute some of his longevity in the entertainment world to “Acting appropriately for his level of talent”  and not trying to get away with anything too crazy.

The crowd won’t mind if it’s a different drummer, all rhythm guitar players on the planet look the same, and you can even substitute Duff McKagan as long as you have Tommy Stinson, but you have to have Slash there.  I’m going to assume its the same for Oasis.

2 thoughts on “Oasis is Guns N Roses and Other Thoughts On The Olympics Closing Ceremony”

  1. Are you serious, no way ! Duff was the punk and added so much edge to the band, and Izzy Stradlin, rhythm guitarist co-wrote or wrote at least 60% of the songs, many of which were hits and fan favorites, seems like you don’t know much about Guns N’ Roses

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